my last day

If today would be my last day, I would never want to die.
Because today I'm doing nothing.
Nothing useful.
Nothing of all the MANY THINGS I should do but I don't want to.
I'm blocked.

Maybe I'm anxious about a national competition I'll partecipate in 12 days: if I'll pass, I could change my life. But there isn't good chance: we are more than 80.000 people for 11.000 positions (teachers). But maybe in my region and for my subject the chances are even less.

And if I pass it, I would be happy? That would really be the solution to my neverending dissatisfaction? I don't know.

I never know nothing, but I'm not a teenager. All the other people seem to know very well what they want, but not me. All the other people seem to pursue a goal, but not me.
I'm always insecure: I thought it would have change with the age, but it isn't so.
 

My first kiss

It seems yesterday
on the beach,
after days of
mute glances,
your lips
on mine.

Fifteen years,
burning heart,
exchanging letters
for years:
that sweet kiss'
memory
imprinted
in my mind...

Dear Ahmet,
thank you for
your tenderness,
that introduced me
to love,
under the moon,
on Pamuçak's sand.

 

16/04/2007